#and a whole bunch of things that sound like pretty sound arguments until you zoom out and take the context into account

[queermania]

it's still so interesting to me that there's this lasting perception in fandom that dean is the one who doesn't want sam to have any relationships outside of the two of them and not the other way around when all evidence points to the contrary. dean regularly pushes sam to make connections with people but because he *checks notes* showed up at sam's apartment when he was scared about their missing father and got mad at sam for ignoring the outside world in order to play house while dean was fighting for his life and kevin needed him, that must mean dean wants sam all to himself i guess? apparently taking sam back to his apartment and telling him to go to amelia and offering to take him to visit sarah blake and encouraging him to go after eileen and and and just doesn't stack up against that one time he was traumatized and angry.

[thenakedgingerwrites]

Gullible Mike

AN: I’ve had a few prompts on my notepad for years that I haven’t fleshed out and finally got into a creative and horny mood today. Prompt below. I welcome any other authors to take it and run with it to make their own variation on the simple idea. I ended up having the POV be the controller but I think my original prompt idea was that the POV would be controlled. If you use the prompt shoot me a message so I can enjoy your mischievous minds :)

Prompt: “Photo or video gets found of a friend and he has to convince his friend it’s not him by getting naked.”

--------------------------------------------------

The hypnosis show me and some buddies went to a few weeks ago was pretty fun. A few of us had been called up on stage and while it didn’t appear to work on a few invited volunteers, it had certainly worked on Mike.

His instruction was pretty simple: to be incredibly gullible. The hypnotist lady had then gotten him into a number of funny situations by proving just how gullible he was. He had offered a bunch of money to random members of the audience since it was obviously illegal to have more than $2 in your wallet at any time. He talked like a baby to anyone who claimed they were a parent because that was the polite thing to do. And lastly, he had taken off his jeans because the hypnotist thought they were on fire!

The show wasn’t x-rated or anything, so it stopped there, but it was pretty funny to see Mike hopping around on stage in his boxer briefs and polo. The audience’s wolf whistles agreed. Before a heckler’s shout of “I think your underwear’s on fire too!” she had put him back under.

It wasn’t until a few days later that it became apparent to me that Mike was still under this ‘gullible’ command. We had been hanging out just the two of us and watching the Packers v. Steelers game and he was going on and on about how Roethlisberger was going to wipe the field with my team. I jokingly said something like “since you’re clearly in love with him, a good luck kiss might go a long way.”

He somewhat seriously asked me, “you think so?” I figured we were still just razzing each other and so I responded, “Oh for sure. If you plant a big one on the TV when he’s on screen I’m positive that’ll make sure the Steelers win.”

Mike just sat there with a curious face as we continued to watch the game. I thought it was just a weird interaction until the camera zoomed in on Roethlisberger between downs. Mike nearly sprinted to the TV and kissed the image of Ben. “Good luck Ben!” he said, somewhat seductively.

I burst out laughing thinking he was still just trying to be funny. He looked back at me and said, “we’ll see who’s laughing at the end of the game.”

I rolled my eyes and got us another round of beers, but these bizarre actions continued. All through the game anytime Ben was shown on screen, Mike would run up and kiss the TV. Luckily we were at his place so I didn’t care about the lip marks and saliva streaks on the screen but I was flabbergasted. What the fuck was wrong with him?

And then I remembered the hypnotist.

It clicked that Mike was clearly still under the command she had given him. I wasn’t sure what to do about it though. I remembered the bar she had performed at so maybe I could call them to get in contact with her and have her reverse this thing.

Then the Steelers scored and he gloated to me that my team was gonna lose because I didn’t have as much team spirit and loyalty like he did.

“You haven’t kissed Rodgers once and you call yourself a fan? You should be ashamed.”

Really, Mike? That’s how you’re gonna act?

“Well at least I’m not kissing him wrong unlike you. What you’re doing is far more disrespectful. I bet they lose the game since you’re doing it so wrong.”

Mike looked worried, “what do you mean?”

“Everyone knows you don’t fucking kiss the quarterback like it’s your grandma or something. I haven’t seen tongue once this whole game. And your silent ass kiss is probably gonna make him miss every throw from this point on.”

Mike was wide eyed. I wagered that in his warped mind now he thought HE would be responsible if they lost. He looked to the TV in terror. Serendipitously, he actually did botch the pass in the next play. Honestly it was more good defense from the Packers end and less-so a poor throw from Roethlisberger but to Mike, that was the confirmation he needed.

The camera zoomed in on Ben cursing inaudibly and Mike went to work. He was fucking making out with the screen, tongue and all, and moaning a ton. He even ran one of his hands up the screen like he was caressing the dude.

I was filled with mixed emotions. I felt bad that I was taking advantage of the situation, I felt ecstatic because this shit was hilarious and I couldn’t wait to tell the guys, and, scarily, I felt turned on watching him make out with 2D Ben Roethlisberger and moaning louder and louder.

The tent in my gym shorts told me I was feeling the third emotion more than anything else.

We were close to the end of the game and I wasn’t pleased that the Packers had lost but for the first time in my life I didn’t care. The day had made a turn and seeing Mike in this way was a treat I didn’t know I wanted.

He continued to berate me for not caring about the Packers as much as he cared about the Steelers which was an argument I let him win. I was still a bit in a state of shock.

I finished my beer and needed to get home. As I was getting ready to leave, I decided to try something. It was dumb, but at that point I was still thinking with the hard dick in my shorts.

“Alright, Mike, I need to head out.”

“Sounds good Matt. Sorry, I made your team lose. Not!”

I rolled my eyes again, “yeah, well maybe next time I’ll try my own good luck charm.”

He raised his eyes, “What’s that!?”

“Well I’m not going to give you any secrets to let your team keep winning against mine.”

“Ah, fuck you Matt. We’ll win no matter what.”

“Sure, sure. Anyway, should we do the kiss now?”

He looked at me confused and took a step back. “The what now?”

“You know, the goodbye kiss.”

He still looked at me like I was crazy. I started to get nervous but doubled down, hoping it would work.

“When two friends watch a game together, they have to kiss after it’s over to show there’s no hard feelings. Have you honestly never heard of that rule?”

He shook his head, “No I… I guess I haven’t. I’m sorry, Matt.”

“Shit, I hope you haven’t pissed off any of your other friends.”

I could see panic in his eyes as he thought through how many times he had botched this gentleman’s rule before.

“It’s probably fine, Mike,” I assured him. “You didn’t know. I’m sure no harm done.”

“Fuck. I hope so.” He looked up at me, “Well I won’t fuck up from now on, that’s for sure!”

He walked up to me and kissed me.

It was so quick and I was on cloud nine with the realization that it had worked that I just stood there for a second.

He looked at me curiously and asked, “We good?” I blinked away my shock to continue the game, “Is that how you kissed Roethlisberger? I thought we were actually friends, dude.”

“Oh, shit sorry!”

I didn’t even need to coach him on what I wanted. He leaned back in and planted his lips on mine but this time, began to invade my mouth with his tongue. As he did he rubbed my back and began to moan. This time, I kissed back.

My arms also stroked up and down the small of his back and I even risked a single rub down onto his butt. Man, was it hot. If he felt my boner pressing up against his thigh, Mike didn’t say anything.

We kissed hot and heavy like this for a good 30 seconds before he broke away.

“Sorry, Matt. I’ll be sure to give a proper kiss moving forward.”

“Yeah… Yeah.”

I was at a loss for words.

I should leave.

I should.

I didn’t.

I’m not sure why it came to mind but I was running on autopilot at this stage controlled entirely by the dick in my shorts. I wouldn’t identify as gay or really even bi, but I had been curious for a bit what it would be like to be with another guy. Mostly like a morbid curiosity or something, but now that there was a real opportunity on the table, with someone I trusted and who was pretty freaking hot, I couldn’t resist the temptation to get it out of my system.

“Oh fuck, dude.”

I looked down at my phone as I exclaimed that.

Mike looked at me, “What’s up? Everything okay?”

“I think your ex leaked dick pics of you.”

“What?!” Mike shouted and ran over to my phone to try and get a look.

I hid my phone from him quickly and covered myself by saying “wait, Mike. You don’t want to look at these in case it’s not actually your dick. That would make you gay if you did.”

He quickly backed off, “I’m not gay!”

“Right, right. Me either. But I didn’t have a choice, I had to look at them but you don’t have to.”

“Okay, yeah. How the fuck would she have done that though? I don’t remember her even taking them!”

“I’m not sure, Mike,” I said. “Maybe she took them when you weren’t paying attention.”

“Fuck, are you sure it’s me?” he asked nervously.

Gotcha.

“Well, I’m not sure. The only way I could know for sure would be to see your dick to compare.”

Mike looked confused, “Well that would be pretty gay dude. I don’t want you looking at my junk and I’m sure you don’t either.”

“Well of course not, but chances are I’m already looking at it right now. But I’m willing to do this as a friend, and that wouldn’t be gay. And if it’s not actually your dick then you don’t have to worry. If it is, we should report them and try and get them taken down.”

“Fuck. Fuck! I don’t want dick pics of me out there on the internet!”

“I know! Think about if your work found them, or your family! That would be so embarrassing!”

“Shit shit shit.” Mike was freaking out. “Okay… Okay, are you sure you don’t mind helping me out?”

“As a friend, I have to do everything in my power to confirm whether these pics are of you or not.”

“You’re such a good friend, Matt. I’m sorry you’re in this position though.”

Oh, no worries.

Mike hesitantly started to undo the button on his cargo shorts. He didn’t strip in any sort of sexy way but a second later his cargo shorts hit the ground. I was staring at a similar image as last week: Mike standing there with nothing but a shirt and underwear. This time though, his hands were reaching for the waistband.

“I’m sorry,” he said to me one more time.

I went to say ‘no problem’ but got caught off by the shucking of his boxer briefs. As he stood back up I finally got to see it. The whole package.

Mike clearly didn’t manscape much and honestly neither did I, but that didn’t hide what he was packing. His soft cock was cut like my own and pretty thick. I knew not to judge a guy based on his softie but wagered he was large. And as a double bonus the balls below, while tight to his body, looked pretty big too.

I stared.

“Well?” Mike asked me cautiously with his palms extended, miming ‘what do you think?’

“I… I’m not sure.”

“What do you mean?” he asked me.

“Well, Mike, this is awkward… but the photos here are of a hard dick. It’s difficult to know for sure if this is you or not comparing the two.”

“Fuck man! What are we gonna do?”

“I’m not sure,” I replied.

I wanted him to come up with the solution. Somehow that made me feel less like a terrible person and friend.

“I hate to ask…” he started. “But, would you be willing to look at my stuff if I went and got a boner?”

“Man, Mike… I mean. Like I said, as a friend I basically have to. It’s my duty, as everyone knows. So yeah, I’ll compare your boner to the pictures.”

He sighed in relief. “You’re the best, Matt.”

He looked around, “I’m not sure if I’ll be able to get it up though given the situation…”

Time to test this hypnosis. I planted a seed. “Well, I heard that in this situation I’m supposed to be the one to get you hard.”

“What? Where did you hear that?”

“Greg, my buddy from work, told me a year or so ago. This same thing had happened to a friend of his.”

“Fuck, really?”

“Yeah,” I said. “And I asked him if that was gay or anything.”

“That’s what I was wondering too.”

Mike was falling perfectly into my made up scenario. “Yeah, but Greg assured me that it isn’t. Literally anything I have to do to make sure you’re good isn’t gay. It’s just being a good friend. But he told me that his friend couldn’t get himself hard because boners look different when you get it up versus when someone else does.”

“Really, I’ve never noticed before.”

“Me either, but I guess that’s because I don’t really notice dicks, you know?”

He nodded his head eagerly. “Right, right.”

“So, I guess, I’ll have to get you hard. That’s like the only way I’ll be able to tell for sure.”

“Damn. I’m so sorry, Matt.”

“Honestly, don’t worry about apologizing. I’m just happy I can hopeful help to confirm you have nothing to worry about with these photos.”

“Thanks man!”

He looked around the room a bit awkwardly. “Should we uh.. Sit down or something?”

I pointed to the couch. “Yeah, why don’t you sit there.”

He did as instructed and spread his legs out. He hadn’t bothered to cover up at all this whole time and as he sat down and reclined a bit, his soft dick fell to one side of his thighs.

I timidly knelt down in front of him. He watched me. Now just inches from me was the first dick I had really ever seen up close besides my own. Gym showers don’t really count. This was entirely different.

I reached my hand out. I was no longer nervous that I would get caught or something because it was clear I could do anything with Gullible Mike at this point. I was just nervous about how much I was going to like this.

My fingers touched flesh. The soft skin of Mike’s cock was warm and spongey. I sort of just played with it in my finger tips for a few moments before palming it. As I started my slow strokes to bring Mike Jr. to life, I looked up at Mike Sr.

He was watching but was clearly embarrassed. He was blushing profusely. I probably could have spared him with some command, but I decided against it. It was fun to watch him squirm a bit.

He slowly began to inflate and as he did I took note of his balls with my other hand. They were indeed large. Larger than mine at least. Mike clearly didn’t shave them but there wasn’t much hair. Mostly up near where they met his body. I lightly massaged them, earning me the first moan from Mike.

He had leaned his head back, no longer watching the action. Perhaps he was imagining some girl doing this to him. Perhaps he was just enjoying the experience as much as I was.

My hand was now grasping onto firm meat. His cock was at full mast. Finally I had him beat somewhere. His dick was probably only about 6 inches hard, maybe a little smaller actually. However, he still had me beat in girth. I continued to stroke him for a bit when Mike finally spoke up.

“I think I’m fully hard now. Can you tell if the pics are of my dick or not?”

I pulled out my phone, letting his dick fall back onto his belly with an audible ‘smack.’ I pretended to compare the imaginary pics up against his dick.

“Hm, mind if I take some photos of the same angle so I can compare them side by side?”

“Umm…” he bit his lip.

“I’ll delete them obviously.”

“Oh yeah, sorry, that’s fine.”

I took a myriad of photos for my own personal entertainment. Some close up, some showing all of Mike including his face which was still flushed. I even took a secret video of me holding his dick upright and stroking it a bit.

“So, I’m feeling more confident that it may not be your dick.”

“Oh thank god!”

“But, there’s a few things that are still off.”

Mike was worried again, “like what?”

“Well… the photos of the dick are kind of… wet.”

“Wet?”

“Yeah,” I said. “Like, your ex had just given you a blowjob or something.”

“Fuck. Is there that much of a difference with a bit of saliva on it?”

“Surprisingly yeah. It’s hard for me to know for sure. Unless…”

“Unless you…?” He asked.

I feigned hesitation. “I think I have to blow you.”

“Matt, no, that’s too much. I couldn’t ask you to do that.”

“Mike, you don’t have to. You’re one of my best friends.”

“Seriously, Matt. I’d rather just have my dick pics leaked. I would feel so bad asking you to do that for me.”

“No, I’ve made up my mind. This is for you, Mike!”

Without letting him try and talk me out of it, I brought his dick to my mouth.

“Oh fuck! Mmmm” Mike no longer protested.

Being the first blowjob I’d ever given, I didn’t get much in at first. Maybe two inches of his thick cock. But as I continued to bob on it, I got past the halfway point.

Mike’s dick tasted great. There was a fleshy, salty taste that I’d expect from skin like when I’ve licked my fingers in the past after getting food on them or something. But there was also an extra flavor that I realized must be his pre.

In under a minute, Mike was moaning loudly. He even placed a hand on the back of my head. Not forcing me down his dick or anything, but he kindly rubbed and played with my hair as I sucked him.

I hate to admit it, but I loved it. I don’t think I could say I wasn’t bi anymore.

I continued to nearly gag on his thick tool when he interrupted me to say, “Matt, I think you should stop. If you go any further I might fucking cum.”

I stopped to look up at him and deliver my last line, “I didn’t want to mention this, but the pics also had a video of the dick cumming. I think that’s the only way I’ll know for sure.”

“Matt…”

Mike was fully flushed both from the seemingly great blowjob I had been giving but also the idea that he was asking his friend to make him cum. He was so embarrassed.

“You don’t have to ask me, Mike. I want to. You’d make me into a bad friend if you didn’t let me.”

“Well, you are a great friend.”

“So it’s settled.”

I went back to work.

“Fuck, Matt…”

It honestly didn’t take long. I hadn’t gotten to the point where I could take his whole dick in my throat; I’m not sure how gay guys do it. But I got probably 4 or 5 inches down when I felt his ball sac start to tighten up.

“Matt, I’m gonna cum.”

I wanted to taste it but I also got a little gun shy and scared. This was maybe too much for my first gay experience. I released his dick from my mouth and began to stroke him instead. Eight strokes later, his thighs flexed and he grunted.

Mike wasn’t a shooter like myself but fuck did he cum a lot. The first spurt actually shot out a couple inches onto his abs. The next four were just gushes that flowed out and down his dick onto my hand but it was a ton. Then he dribbled more and more for a minute or so as I continued to stroke his slowly deflating cock.

“Wow, Mike. That’s a lot of cum.”

“Haha, thanks. I feel terrible for putting you through this though. I’m a fucking asshole.”

“No you’re not! And, now that I’ve seen you cum, I’m positive these dick pics aren’t of you.”

“Really?!”

He shot up in excitement which caused his semi-hard dick, covered in cum, hit me the face. I fell back in shock and he quickly knelt down to make sure I was okay.

“Shit, sorry Matt! Oh fuck, I got my cum on your face.”

I could feel the warm liquid on my cheek and bit on my mouth.

“Well you know what they say,” I said with a laugh.

“What?”

“You know, ‘if you get cum on a guy’s face, you have to clean it off with your tongue.’”

“Shit, I had no idea. Matt you seem to know so much.”

“Oh I do. I’ll be sure to keep teaching you.”

We shared a laugh before he leaned in.

[dib-shit]

Zim Takes a Fuckin’ Nap

Word count: 2.9k

Pairings implied: ZaSr, TaTr (very subtle), DaGrr (Dib x Gretchen). All can be seen as platonic too.

Warnings: Quite a bit of swearing but nothing derogatory, and a quick reference to furries, courtesy of Skoodge’s fashion taste.

Characters: Zim, Skoodge, Dib, Gaz, Tak, Gretchen, and Gir

Synopsis: Zim’s feeling pretty out of it, huh? Maybe he needs sleep. Wait, Irkens don’t sleep, do they? 

A/N: I originally started this while at the DMV waiting to get my first ID. It’s way longer than it should be, especially since I only wrote it so that Zim could say one thing. Anyway, hope you like it I guess. It’s my first fanfic I’ve ever published, even if it’s a shitpost so here goes nothing. Criticisms welcome if you have ‘em! 

_________________________________________

Five years. It’s been five years since Zim came to this hell hole of a planet. Five years since Zim began his never-ending attempts to hold this planet in his grasp. Five years since Zim met his absolute worst enemy. Four years since Zim discovered he was living with his best friend. Three years since his best friend attended Skool with Zim. Two years since Tak came back to Earth. One year since Zim’s worst enemy became his worst friend… one year since Zim discovered the truth about his mission.

Zim, Skoodge, Tak, and Dib were all attending the same shit hole Skool in their Junior year. One more year after this and none of them would ever have to bother with this nonsense again. Except for Dib. Apparently, he has plans for more education after what was legally required. Zim didn’t get this. The Dib was already a moron, there was no fixing that.

Zim also didn’t understand why Tak was even bothering on coming. She even completes every assignment with flying colors. What was the point? Irkens already had their education jammed into their PAKs moments after hatching. Unknown to Zim, Tak was actually trying to distract herself with skoolwork from something that was eating away at her from the inside. But that’s a whole other story.

Zim groaned as the History teacher droned on about whatever it was he talked about. Dib had shown him in the past that human history isn’t as boring as it seems, it’s just that the education system cuts out a lot of the interesting and sometimes crucial information. So far the only thing Zim gathered from this class on “U.S. History” was that a particular breed of humans were the absolute worst of all of them. These humans had a history of taking whatever the hell they wanted from others, and then ruining those other lives as they go. Dib says that these people, which seems to be the perspective the shitty, sugarcoated textbook is going off of, are “White People”.

Zim placed his chin on his desk as the lesson drove on. He stared at the board until the words didn’t look like words anymore. His eyelids began to feel heavy for some reason. He closed his eyes. His mind seemed to fade away when suddenly he snapped back to reality. Oop there goes gravity. He jerked so hard he nearly fell off his seat. Some of the students gave him puzzled looks, but most of them have gotten used to Zim’s bullshittery.

What the FUCK was that!?!?? He thought. It felt like his body was trying to shut down or some shit. He continued to struggle with this until class let out. Fortunately, it was the last period so he quickly began his trail to the base.

As he walked, he heard footsteps coming behind him, sounding short and out of breath. Skoodge ran up behind him, having to run quite a bit to catch up to him.

“What the hell took you so long?!” He asked. Skoodge, catching his breath, answered. “Got held up with the really large muscle kid. He doesn’t like me for whatever reason”

“Did you blow him up? I would have blown him up.”

“Well no… that would cause a lot of problems. Also, that’s illegal Zim… remember what we said about trying to be normal citizens?”

“No. YOU said that. I would never agree to stupid laws.”

“I know.” Skoodge sighed.

Skoodge had actually grown fond of the Planet. It was frustrating how dumb these humans were sometimes, but life was simpler. Nicer. Not only that but the fashion in the thrift stores were perfect for Skoodge. It was all he ever wore. At the moment he was wearing a pair of very bright surf shorts, along with a shirt that said “I love chubby furries” He had no idea what that meant, he just liked the picture of the fat dog person on it. It was possible that this was the reason he got stopped by Chunk after school.

They reached the neon green house and walked inside to be greeted by a rocket zooming straight into Zim’s gut, knocking him onto the floor. The robot stood up, hugged Skoodge, and then sat on the couch in a very calm manner. Zim was able to get back onto his feet, glared at the robot for a bit as Skoodge giggled a bit, and then removed his contacts and wig. Skoodge soon followed after and they sat on the couch together to watch whatever cursed programming the robot was watching.

“How did class go for you?” Skoodge asked him.

“eh.” Zim shrugged.

There was a moment of silence, then he spoke again.

“I’ve been having trouble keeping my eyes open lately. I think I got poisoned by that demon Moose we dealt with a few days ago.” Zim said.

“Uh… what do you mean keeping your eyes open? You just… keep them open??” Skoodge said with concern in his voice.

Any further questioning would only get grunts from Zim. Skoodge then turned to him and saw that Zim’s eyes were closed, and he seemed unconscious.

“ZIM?!?” Skoodge yelled.

Zim jolted back into consciousness and screamed back “WHAT!?”

“You did the thing!”

“What thing?!?”

“You know the… oh never mind.”

Zim probably would have fallen out of consciousness again had Dib not called Zim’s phone. How Zim had a cellphone plan is beyond me but whatever.

“Hey is Skoodge there with you?” Dib asked.

“Yeh.”

“You two wanna come over or whatever? Tak came to hang out with Gaz, and Gretchen’s family stayed home for sabbath so she’s coming over too. I don’t know, it could help us bond better or whatever”

Skoodge, listening in, started nodding his head. He was actually good friends with Gretchen. He hung out with her at the library even before she got the courage to start talking to Dib again. That, and he actually got along with pretty much everyone.

Zim made a face similar to a scrunched up sea sponge, but told Dib they would come over.

“Also, please don’t bring Gir guys. There’s still damage in the walls from last time.” Dib then said goodbye and hung up.

Zim groaned and slowly slid himself off the couch, onto the floor, and then stood up. Skoodge went to the cabinet, grabbed a bunch of candy and snacks, and said he was ready to go. After arguing about whether to share their snacks with the others, and Skoodge somehow winning the argument (thanks to Gir screaming in his defense), they headed out to the human’s household.

…

Zim seemed to forget about the weird shutdowns while he was busy trying to beat Dib’s ass in Smash Bros. Zim refused to stick with one character so he had to readjust to the move sets almost every round, which really didn’t help his goal. It also didn’t help that they were also playing against Gaz, who made it very hard to survive more than a minute. After many rounds of various video games between the group, they finally decided to settle down with a Movie and then sleep over. It wasn’t like Professor Membrane would give a shit, he was never home.

The other two times they did this, the Irkens in the group would either just stay up playing more games and watching movies, or they would leave. The species wasn’t known to sleep. They are able, but there was no need. Dib compared it to the gems in Steven Universe. Zim would agree but first, he would have to admit that he watches the show along with Skoodge.

This time was going to be different.

The pull of unconsciousness was tugging at Zim again. Throughout the movie, he tried to combat it by jerking his body suddenly as to re-alert himself. Occasionally he would yell out, which quickly got on the others’ nerves.

“Zim what the fuck is your problem?!” Gaz eventually asked, although she didn’t care that much, she just wanted him to shut up.

“WELL WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM?!?!” Zim screeched back at her, which he immediately regretted upon seeing Gaz’s reaction.

Before any damage could be done, Tak preemptively held Gaz’s arm back, knowing pissing Zim off would only result in a shit-fest. Dib, having previously been obsessed with Zim’s every move when they were enemies, somehow did not notice his rival was a bit off until now.

Avoiding any more interaction with Zim and risking another blowup, Dib asked Skoodge to join him in the kitchen and asked the short Irken what was going on.

“You mean the yelling? Dib, you should know that’s normal for him” Skoodge stated matter-of-factly. Dib stared at him for a second before responding.

“N-… No Skoodge, I mean the other thing… and wh- what the fuck are you wearing?”

“What, my shirt? Why?” Skoodge asked. 

Dib looked like he was somehow holding a stroke.

“… Nevermind. Back to the issue at hand. It looks almost like he’s… falling asleep or something?? Did Zim eat something bad or??…” Dib trailed off, not really sure how he was going to finish that sentence.

“Falling… asleep? I never really considered that. But we don’t sleep, our PAKs sorta recharge as they go.” Skoodge said.

Dib sighed. “I know. you guys have explained this multiple times, but what if something happened and now-” Dib stopped for a moment. Something clicked in his head. His eyes widened.

“Skoodge… how much does Zim remember the demon moose incident?”

“I don’t know… he knows it happened and he knows it did something to him” Skoodge responded.

“The kick. The moose kicked him and it hit his PAK… Zim’s PAK must’ve gotten damaged. I bet that’s what’s happening.” Dib told him.

“What???” Skoodge was confused.

“The demon moose fucked up Zim’s PAK so now he doesn’t recharge very well. That’s why he’s so tired. He needs sleep.” Dib explained. He was also beginning to realize what was going to have to come next.

They needed to get Zim to go to sleep. It was going to be hard, but the little shit needed a nap. It was going to be like trying to put a gremlin to sleep.

The movie was over. Zim had passed out again. Dib gathered everyone else in the kitchen and explained what was going on.

“Why can’t we just leave him there?” Gaz said.

“Because he’s going to wake up again and try to avoid going to sleep. He needs to know what’s going on so he can get proper rest.” Skoodge responded. It’s an absolute mystery how Zim was able to get by at all without him for some time.

“We could always tase him and just throw a blanket on him.” Tak proposed. She still had some bitterness towards him for ruining her life plans.

“We’re not doing that Tak,” Skoodge stated.

Gretchen spoke up, “Why don’t we just… tell Zim? Explain to him, and then help him get to sleep?”

The others stared at her for a moment, unwilling to admit they were overthinking this a little. It couldn’t be that hard, could it? They were about to get an answer.

Waking up Zim was a mistake. Naturally, he screamed and ended up slapping Dib as a “reflex” although he had to turn around and reach for Dib and Skoodge was the one that actually shook him awake. Skoodge tried to start his explanation but Zim was NOT having it. He got enough bullshit already about being a “defective” so another layer on top of that, to have a PAK that needed him to sleep every now and then, that did not sound fun.

“Zim, listen, it’s okay. You just need to let yourself sleep. you’re already doing it bit by bit but you need to fall all the way.” Skoodge told his friend.

“Yeah, but not on our couch,” Gaz added.

“I can get a sleeping bag. Skoodge is welcome to stay too. I know Tak already is ‘cuz she’s got some project she’s working on with Gaz or something.” Dib said, before leaving the room. When he got the sleeping bag, he decided to grab another for Skoodge… maybe he could try sleeping too? It would be awkward just sitting there all night, and he knew the two of them enough that if Zim was doing something that involved letting his guard down, there was no way Skoodge was leaving his side. Dib would have liked it better if this was done at their base and not in his living room but with Gir there, it probably wouldn’t work out very well.

By the time Dib returned, Gaz and Tak were in the backyard working on Tak’s ship (which Dib had reluctantly returned to her). He could hear faint static from the communicator again. Tak must still be trying to connect to whoever she’s looking for on Meekrob again. Gretchen was sitting on the couch looking at memes on her phone. Skoodge was sitting by Zim on the other side of the couch, still trying to coax him into sleeping, with Zim still refusing.

“Zim isn’t budging… but Skoodge is getting somewhere I think.” Gretchen updated Dib. “By the way, Gaz agreed to let me sleep in her room since the living room will be occupied, and your room would be a little awkward.” Suddenly she remembered that she had to text Keef… her parents thought she was staying at his house for the night, not the Membranes’. As she got up to talk on the phone in private in another room, Dib took her place on the couch.

Dib unrolled both sleeping bags, then stood there awkwardly watching Zim and Skoodge argue. There was no way Zim was going to agree to this with their current tactic. So he proposed to them his earlier idea of Skoodge also sleeping, hoping that would make Zim more comfortable. Upon hearing this, Zim was silent for a bit, looked at Skoodge, then Dib, back to Skoodge, then the floor.

“Wait… Gir!” Zim finally spoke.

“Don’t change the subject dude, you need to fucking sleep!! Gir is fine!” Dib yelled at him.

Just then there was a loud single knock on the door. But really it sounded like someone crashed into the door, followed by multiple little knocks.

“Who could that be knockin’ at my door?!” Dib said in a song-like tune, but also nervous because it was like, 2 in the morning. Seriously who the hell…

“Go away. Don’t come here no more…” Dib finished the lyric under his breath as he answered.

Dib was greeted by a small green dog who looked up at him silently, called Dib a bitch, then walked inside. Dib didn’t even react… by this point he was used to this sort of thing.

“GIR, NO SWEaRiNg!!!” Zim yelled as Dib shut the door behind the robot.

The commotion brought Gretchen back into the room. She took one look at Gir and already picked up on what was going on. Wherever Zim and Gir are together, screaming is sure to follow. She walked over to the little robot to pat his head and scooped him up like a baby.

“What are you doing here Gir? We told you to stay at home.” Skoodge asked, hoping this wasn’t going to make the argument with Zim more difficult.

Gir gave puppy dog eyes more than he normally did, ears drooping and everything. “The pig left… and I was looooonely,” Gir replied with tears in his voice, then suddenly perked up and happily said, “SO I cAMe HERE!!!.”

“Hey Gir, do want to take a nap? Zim is going to try to sleep.” Gretchen calmly told him, still carrying him like a toddler on her hip.

“Yeah!! Sleepytime!! I’ll help get Zim to sleep!” Gir then pulled out a hammer and held it up like he was going to hit Zim with it.

“NO NO NO NO!! GIR DON’T!!” Everyone else screamed. Gir looked at them with a smile still, as Skoodge carefully took the hammer from Gir, and set it in the kitchen. Maybe it was time to talk to him about what’s possible in cartoons… and not in real life.

“Damn, I thought Gir would be on my side… he usually hates having to rest,” Zim grumbled. Dib rolled his eyes and wondered if Zim had actually contacted Gir at some point to get him out of this.

There was a silence for a while. Skoodge looked at Zim and simply said “please… it’ll help. I promise.”

“eeeeeeUGaAAaaaaHHHHGH… FINE!! I’ll take a fuckin’ nap or whatever.” Zim loudly complied. “But only if Skoodge stays. I still don’t trust any of you.” Skoodge nodded in understanding as everyone gave a sigh of relief

God… took long enough, Dib thought. He was surprised it didn’t involve more damage to his house. Whatever. The green bastard was going to finally sleep. Wait… did he know how to sleep? Eh, he’ll figure it out, he’s basically been doing it already, he just had to let it happen.

The two Irkens got settled into the sleeping bags, and Dib tossed them some pillows. Gretchen set Gir between the bags, as he curled up and immediately passed out. They finally got comfortable, Dib turned out the lights, and Gretchen said goodnight. The two humans were about to make their way upstairs when they heard a “Hm.” from Zim.

“What is it?” Skoodge whispered.

Zim made a smirk with his eyes still closed, as he was snuggled up in the poofy sleeping bag. “I’m a warm little bitch.”

The End 

[yoon-kooks]

Pink Cheek Syndrome- pt.1

Pairing: Jimin x Reader 

Genre: angst, fluff, implied smut 

Word count: 6k 

Warnings: swearing, mentions of sex

Summary: As a wedding photographer, you profited more from the reckless decisions made by those blinded by the mere idea of love than from those who had actually found it. As a romance novelist, he profited more from the romanticized expectations of love than from the actual reality of it. And although you were a self-proclaimed aromantic, there was something very appealing about the romantic boy with a notebook who had unintentionally crashed your photoshoot on that chilly winter morning. 

Pink Cheek Syndrome (n.) a phenomenon that occurs when a couple gets married without being in love, to the point where blushing cheeks must be photoshopped into their wedding photos in order to hide this reality.

A/N: i hope you guys enjoy this new series! 🙈🙈🙈💖

Click. An arm around her waist. Click. Giggles and teasing. Click. Lopsided smiles to hide the nerves. Click. And a look into each other’s eyes with a more natural smile that followed. Click. After your final pre-wedding shot of the morning, you gave the couple a thumbs up and jogged up to them with your DSLR to give them a quick peek at some of the photos.

“Ooh, I like that one!”

“Isn’t it pretty with the sun in the background?”

“This one’s definitely my fav—wait, Babe! Why is your face like that?”

“So cute!”

You did your best to drown out the baby talk between Seokjin and his soon-to-be wife, but their voices only went octaves higher with each word they spoke. You’d think that after a few years in the business, you’d have already grown immune to the coos of lovers. But alas, you still couldn’t stop yourself from cringing. And to make things worse, your partner had the day off, so you’d have to endure it all on your own.

“We have to go get ready for the ceremony now. See you there, Y/N!” the bright-eyed bride waved at you as she and Seokjin headed in the direction of the dressing room, hand in hand.

As soon as they were out of sight, you dragged yourself back to work. In the two hours you had until the ceremony began, you’d scout out the venue and take a bunch of pictures of the scenery before the guests arrived. You groaned as you unfolded your tripod, not because you disliked your job, but rather because you knew to anticipate the same old love story that, in your opinion, didn’t carry as much weight as a wedding should. In other words, you had become numb to the idea of marriage and true love.

That being said, there was always something refreshing about an empty outdoor venue, and this one was no different. Was it the pink flower arrangements that accented the long walk down the aisle, or perhaps the birds chirping into the cool and crisp winter air? Or maybe it was the emptiness itself.

You snapped a bunch of close-ups and medium shots before backing up to get a long shot of the entire scene as a whole. As you looked through your camera’s viewfinder, you caught a glimpse of a blonde boy sitting off to the side, under the tree with the chirping birds. You zoomed in closer, using your camera as a telescope. He was dressed in a clean black suit and tie, probably around your age. And he was too busy writing something in his notebook to notice your lens pointed in his direction.

Lowering your camera, you slowly approached the boy to shoo him away while you continued to take pictures of the supposedly empty venue. You had a job to do, and you certainly did not appreciate this kid making a cameo in all your photos.

“If you’re here for Kim Seokjin’s wedding, you’ll probably wanna go grab coffee or something because the ceremony doesn’t start for another two hours, you know.” You waited until the boy turned to you before snapping a picture of his face. For evidence, and perhaps for science, as it didn’t seem possible to have both mochi cheeks and a sharp jawline at the same time.

“Aren’t you early as well?” He clicked his pen and closed his notebook, getting up and hopefully out of your way.

“Yeah, but as the photographer, I’m supposed to be here early to take pictures of the venue.” You lifted your camera in case the boy hadn’t already noticed it from when the shutter went off in his face. His eyes focused on the cute little bunny charm that hung from the camera’s base.

“Are you the photographer Jungkook recommended?”

“Yep, I’m his kind partner who gave his lucky ass the day off for his friend’s wedding.” You gently stroked the bunny charm Jungkook had bought for you. “Are you a friend of his too?”

The boy nodded and extended a hand out to you, “I’m Jimin.”

You hesitated for a moment. Your first instinct was to not shake his hand, as you were still a little mad he had intruded on your empty venue shoot. Your second instinct, the one you ended up following, was to take his hand since he was one of Jungkook’s friends, “I’m Y/N.”

His hand was surprisingly warm for such a chilly morning. And you would’ve left your hand in his, but you couldn’t help but notice the notebook in his other hand.

“Were you drawing something earlier?”

“Hm?” Jimin’s eyes widened until you pointed at his notebook. “Oh, I was just doing stuff for work.”

“You’re working even on your friend’s wedding day?” you asked, wondering if you were too generous in offering to give Jungkook the day off from helping you shoot.

“Yeah, but this is a nice and peaceful place to gather my thoughts, especially before everyone else arrives.” He looked around the venue with bright eyes. “And it’s not everyday that we get to spend time in this type of romantic setting.”

“That makes one of us,” you sighed at your inevitable fate as a wedding photographer. “Wait, what kind of work do you do that makes this place worth working in? Because I can’t relate.”

Just then, you felt a thud against your back accompanied by a shriek. A pair of hands held you in place at the hips, preventing you from turning around to see behind you. “Kookie, I know that’s you.”

“Aww, Y/N you’re no fun…” Jungkook released his grip on you, only to sling his arm over your shoulders and looked at the other boy. “Since when did the two of you know each other?”

“Since about a minute ago, before you showed up.” You finally turned to your friend who was surprisingly well put together compared to when he’d attend a wedding as the photographer. His soft brown hair was gelled back just enough to reveal his cute forehead, and he even wore the fruity cologne you had given him despite him saying he’d never use it. “And why’re you here so early when you have the day off?”

“Hiding from my date,” he said in a quiet voice, choosing to look towards Jimin than at you.

“Why do you need to hide…? Wait! You have a date?” You shoved Jungkook, beyond shocked and a tad bit offended. “Why didn’t you tell me!”

“I would’ve just asked you to come with me, but you already agreed to be the photographer.” He rubbed the back of his neck and sighed, “And besides, Hobi took the time to set me up with this girl, so I didn’t really have a choice…”

“Okay, but why are you hiding from her?”

“She’s too pretty…” Jungkook whined. “And I’m kind of scared of her…”

“If she bothers you so much, why didn’t you just come without a date? What’s wrong with being dateless?” You crossed your arms, not willing to give your friend any sympathy over the fact that his date was too pretty.

Jungkook didn’t answer, and instead looked to Jimin for help. The older boy, still trying to make sense of everything, gave a simple response, “Who’s he gonna dance with if he has no date?”

You glared at Jimin for not being on your side of the argument, but before you could say something back, Jungkook jumped off your shoulder from the sound of his ringtone. Once he checked the caller ID, he groaned and regretfully waved bye before heading out to pick up his date.

Once again, you found yourself alone with Jimin, still unsure as to whether he was an enemy or an ally. With a quick interrogation, maybe you’d figure it out. You raised an eyebrow, “So where’s your date?”

“I don’t have one,” he chuckled. “Like you said, what’s wrong with being dateless?”

“Who’re you gonna dance with then?” you quoted him, too surprised to formulate your own sentences. After Jungkook had made a big deal about having a date, you just assumed all his other friends had dates as well. Moreover, the boy in front of you was definitely handsome enough to find a date with ease, so you wondered exactly why he had opted to come alone.

“I’m more of an observer than a dancer, so I’ll probably just watch Jungkook make a fool of himself on the dance floor from the comfort of my seat,” Jimin explained, although his fit body said otherwise. In your professional opinion, he had the perfect physique of a dancer—his upright posture, slim figure, thicc thighs, and not the mention the abs you imagined him hiding under his suit. It was a pity that he wasn’t a dancer or even a stripper, you thought to yourself. But maybe he’d still be able to put his nice body to use, even if it wasn’t on the dance floor.

You checked your watch to make sure you were still good on time before proposing something to the boy, “You know, I was about to kick you out of here so I could take some photos in peace… But! Would you like to be my model for today?” Otherwise, you really would have to kick him out, and you weren’t quite ready to do so yet.

“Me? A model? I mean I know I’m good-looking and all, but-”

“You don’t really have to pose that much. I just wanna take my usual pics of the empty venue, and then take the same exact pics again, only with you in them.” You looked at the boy who would certainly add a significant amount of beauty to your shots. Of course, you wouldn’t use these shots as a part of Seokjin’s wedding photo collection, but the artist in you wanted to be selfish. “I think it’d be a neat and chilling concept.”

Jimin looked at you, whose eyes reflected a genuine spark of inspiration, and then down at his notebook of work and supposed responsibilities. “I suppose I have some time to kill.”

-

“Hide behind one of the vases and peek out from behind the flowers.” You directed the blonde boy towards the huge white vase propped up on a five-foot stand. “And make a mischievous face towards the camera.”

Jimin did as he was told, although his “mischievous face” looked dorkier than anything. Still, you took the pictures while holding in your laughter, thankful your tripod was there to keep your camera from shaking with your body. As a bonus, you zoomed in close to his face to secure a new meme background for your phone.

“Are you making fun of me?” he called out to you, while at the same time still trying to maintain that same facial expression. You had to admit he was kind of cute.

“Of course not. That would be unprofessional~” You let a giggle slip as you gave him the okay sign.

And after about an hour of taking photos, you finally had Jimin sit on the step just before the altar. He held a white gardenia bouquet while staring out into the distance with a thoughtful yet captivating expression. The sunlight reflecting off his cheeks revealed a soft flush of pink that drew your eyes up to his. You watched as he blinked slowly with each breath. The cute puffiness around his eyes made him appear innocent and youthful. And yet, his killer gaze gave him a mature and mysterious aura that was certainly luring you in, whether you were aware of it or not.

Click, click, click. Even after you hit the shutter button, he remained in the same pose and so did you. Slowly you backed out of the camera’s viewfinder, and instead admired the boy through the unfiltered lens of your own eyes. It was only a few silent seconds later that he looked back at you, wondering if the photoshoot was over. And it was.

The end of the shoot only brought you back into reality where guests were beginning to arrive. Moving your tripod and equipment out of the way of others, you took just a moment to glance back towards the altar, although Jimin had already disappeared amongst the growing crowd.

Without even checking the last few photos you captured, you shook the image of Jimin’s killer gaze from your mind and continued on with your job.

You snapped your usual round of photos: guests taking their seats, family members catching up with one another, and friends gossiping. As you went around, you found Jungkook’s circle of friends, conveniently all with beautiful dates—except Jimin, although that didn’t seem to bother him much by the way he smiled and laughed with his friends. Sitting next to the very happy Jimin, was the awkward Jungkook who refused to even look at his date when he spoke. You felt bad for the girl, who only smiled softly and was too polite to ask Jungkook for more attention. If it were you sitting next to him, he’d certainly feel more at ease. But that wasn’t the case.

Though on the job, you discreetly whipped out your phone and sent the boy a quick text of encouragement.

11:54AM Y/N👯 “wtf kook at least talk to your date lmao”

You watched as the boy felt the vibration of his phone, almost relieved to be occupied by something other than the girl next to him. After reading your message, Jungkook looked around until he spotted you and didn’t hesitate to give you the finger.

11:55AM Y/N👯 “whats the point of having a date if youre not gonna talk to her -_-”

11:56AM kookie🐰 “im trying my best ok!!! leave me alone”

You looked back up from your phone and aggressively motioned for him to interact with his date. He mouthed profanity at you as the older boy occasionally looked up from his notebook to observe all the bickering. When you caught Jimin’s eye, you mouthed the words, “Take care of Kookie,” to him, and he gave you a thumbs up.

-

The ceremony itself wasn’t too bad to shoot without the aid of Jungkook. You swiftly moved from place to place to capture the walk, the vows, the rings, and the tears all from the best angles. And just when the couple said their I do’s, the wind was subtle enough to create a beautiful rippling effect in the bride’s gown and veil, thus the kiss at the altar was a soft, yet striking scene. That being said, not even that would be the most impactful shot of the day.

Immediately following the celebration of sealing the couple’s fate as husband and wife, everyone moved onto the reception, which in your experience, you always preferred more than the ceremony itself. It was a time where everyone would get drunk and loosen up rather than remain romantic snobs. The pictures you would take there didn’t need to evoke a certain amount of “love” or “foreverness”. You didn’t need to rely on your subjects to look or feel a certain way. You could produce high quality photos regardless of the situation. You had all the liberties of an artist. All you needed to do was capture the moment in front of you. Point and shoot.

When you finally had a moment to take a break, you looked for Jungkook just as you’d normally do if he were there as your partnered photographer. It took a while, but your eye caught a totally not sober boy with his head leaned over the back of his chair and his wrist pressed against his exposed forehead. Next to him again was not his date—in fact you had no idea where the fuck she had gone (you wouldn’t have been surprised nor mad if she left Jungkook to find a someone with more balls)—but rather, Jimin texting away, not even giving two shits about his drunk friend.

“Hey, you don’t look so good.” You peeled Jungkook’s arm away from his face and gently pressed your own hand against his rosy cheek. The boy looked at you with heavy eyelids and giggled. “I told you not to drink too much. We have to edit a bunch of these wedding pics tomorrow morning, you know.”

“I’m fine, Y/N, I’m fine~~~ And I talked to what’s-her-name… she’s waaaay prettier than you, hehe… nice gurrrrrl…” he slurred before closing his eyes.

“Shut the fuck up, Kookie…” you mumbled, although you did feel a little bad at how wasted he was. Your fingers continued to stroke his face as you took the empty seat next to him.

“Don’t worry, I’ll keep an eye on him,” the boy on the other side of Jungkook spoke.

“Really? Because last time I checked, your eyes were on your phone,” you said, wondering if it was because he had no date or a sober Jungkook to talk to. You turned your camera back on and showed the boy the most recent photo you had taken, which was of Jimin laser-focused on his phone with a tipsy Jungkook in the background. “And I have receipts.”

Jimin smiled at the candid pic of him and his friend. He had such a charming smile, it was almost contagious. “Can I see what other pics you’ve taken?” He was fascinated by your work, your art.

So you showed him—nearly everything on your camera, in fact. As you scrolled, the boy didn’t say too much, but his wide eyes and duck lips said it all. He too was captivated by the breezy kiss scene, and by everything else you had taken. And it wasn’t until you reached his special photoshoot that you realized your break was over. But just for a second, the two of you admired that one photo together. That one photo of Jimin and the white gardenias.

“I’m really handsome, right?” He covered his big smile with his tiny hands, hardly trying to conceal a potential praise kink.

You didn’t give him the validation he wanted until you scrolled to the extreme close up of his meme face. “Yeah, real handsome, Jimin,” you giggled, getting up from your seat to leave.

“Y/N, wait~~~! Drink with me~” Jungkook tried to give you one of his empty wine glasses.

“I have to get back to work, Kookie. And you really shouldn’t be drinking anymore alcohol tonight.” You took the glass away from him and handed it to the other boy. “But feel free to get Jimin drunk~!”

“Ew, noo! Drunk Jimmy always cries while reciting love poems and shit. Whatta funny dude.”

You shot a smirk at Jimin. You’ve heard of emotional drunks or violent drunks, but a lovesick drunk? “Is that true?”

“They’re not love poems.” The sober boy smacked the drunk one with his notebook.

“What are they then?”

“…Lines from a romance novel.”

“Gross,” you shook your head in disappointment. Clearly the boy was not your type.

“There’s nothing wrong with that!”

“Listen,” you pulled Jimin aside as if you were a wise old grandparent giving advice. “I know we’re at a wedding, but I’ll let you in on a little secret: love is overly romanticized in fiction. Don’t trust it.” The boy didn’t know how to respond to your cynical remark, or maybe he was just taking it all in. Regardless, you had won the argument, and with that, you blew a devilish kiss in his direction and ran off to finish your job.

That was perhaps the last time you would’ve seen the blonde boy. Sure, you would’ve always had the option to ask Jungkook for the other boy’s number, but you expected neither Jimin or yourself to have the desire to pursue anything further. Surely it was just a one-time exchange where you’d forget the boy after a few days, just has it always had been with anyone else besides Jungkook. After all, it had been quite some time since you’d last given love a second thought.

But of course, it seemed as though the world had other plans that would inevitably eat away at your personal beliefs regarding love.

-

8:03AM Y/N👯 “kookie wake the fuck up and get your ass over here now”

8:05AM kookie🐰 “im calling in sick whoops”

8:07AM Y/N👯 “like hell you are”

8:07AM kookie🐰 “i cant get out of bed tho😪 is this what they call a hangover?”

8:08AM Y/N👯 “i gave you a day off yesterday and this is how you repay me😔”

8:10AM kookie🐰 “fine if you want me to work, you come here”

8:11AM Y/N👯 “isnt your roommate home or something? bc i dont want him bothering us😠”

8:13AM kookie🐰 “he always wakes up early and goes out for a few hours. its fine Y/N”

8:13AM Y/N👯 “ok but you owe me coffee”

You groaned while throwing a bunch of shit into your bag before heading out the door with your car keys. For as long as you’d known and worked with Jungkook, you had never been to his place before. Your house had always been the place where the two of you edited photos, as you had a spare room set up as an editing studio, whereas Jungkook only had a spare room for his roommate whom you had never even met.

When you arrived at his place, you rang the doorbell and when the boy failed to answer after exactly twenty rings, you simply opened the unlocked door and walked inside. “Kookie, are you still alive?”

“No.” You followed the whine all the way to the room in the back. Jungkook was sitting up in his bed shirtless with pointed eyebrows and wild hair, looking not nearly as hungover as he was sleepy.

You set your bag down on the carpeted floor and crawled onto his bed to touch his forehead to play along as if you actually believed he was sick, “Are you okay?”

He only grunted in response as you sat your ass in his lap and wrapped your legs around his torso. You slid your hands up his bare chest and softly kissed the nape of his neck.

“Seriously, Kookie, you’re not gonna throw up on me, right?” you whispered into his ear and looked up at him with innocent yet naughty eyes, running the tips of your fingers down the boy’s cheek to just under his chin.

He didn’t shake his head too persuasively in response to your question, but nonetheless, his hands had already lifted and tossed your shirt aside. You were quick to lock your lips with his, pushing your body on top of him. On most occasions, the two of you would actually do some work before “taking a break”, but you were sure your friend could use a little something to put him in a better mood for editing.

♡♡♡

Jungkook brought you closer to him as the two of you waited for your hearts to slow down. You peeked at him and gave him a much gentler barrage of kisses until you finally spoke, “Why were you so drunk last night?”

“To help with nerves, I guess,” he chuckled shyly. You assumed he was talking about being nervous with his date. As far as you knew, he had never dated nor went on a date before. Whether it was because he was too shy to ever make a move, or because he felt the same skepticism about love as you did, you were not sure.

“And how’d that work out for you?”

“Honestly, I don’t know. I remember saying something stupid, or I might’ve accidentally confessed or something like that…”

“I can confirm that you indeed said some stupid things.”

“Well whatever I said to her, she told me to say it again when I’m sober. Then she ran off to dance with some friends…”

“That doesn’t sound too promising, Kookie,” you giggled. “I’m pretty sure you fucked up.”

“Really? Because Jimin said the exact opposite. He said that meant she might be interested in me if I can get the nerve to say it to her while I’m not a drunk idiot.”

“Well, that’s where Jimin and I differ,” you kissed Jungkook again. “And besides, it’s not like you were into that girl anyway, right?”

The boy didn’t say anything for a long while, which surprised you because normally, he and you took pleasure in joking about pointless crushes. Eventually, you pulled back a little to inspect his face. His cheeks were bright pink.

“No way, Kookie!” you snickered, so amused that the shy boy was actually capable of developing feelings for someone. Well, you were amused until you realized you had probably just lost your sex buddy. “Wait, do you really like her though…?”

“I…I don’t know, Y/N…” Jungkook bit his lip. “But Jimin suggested that I should at least try…”

“Oh.” You made a face before hiding it in the boy’s chest, although you were starting to feel bothered by the fact that you still laid naked in his arms. You’d always thought Jungkook was as sick of love as you were, thus the two of you agreed upon an intimate relationship, minus the romance. But if he now wanted to pursue a real relationship with someone else, who were you to stop him? You weren’t his lover.

He massaged your back, silently gathering his thoughts. “You’d be okay with that, yeah?”

“Don’t worry about me, Kookie,” you spoke too softly, almost not wanting to be heard. You squirmed your body out of his grasp and pulled your shirt back over your head, though that was all you bothered to put on before scurrying off to the bathroom to wash up.

As soon as you closed the bathroom door, you leaned your weight against the sink, feeling a sort of emptiness. It wasn’t that you’d lost Jungkook—because you knew he’d still be your friend and partner-in-crime no matter what. You weren’t hurt in the sense that he would be choosing love over you. But it did feel as though the one boy who understood your issue with love could no longer relate. It was in that sense that you felt empty.

You sighed and pinched your cheeks, feeling a bit silly for making a big deal out of the fact that Jungkook may have a tiny crush on someone. Because for all you knew, the two of you could be back to daily sex in no time. But at the same time, the thought still lingered.

Just as you splashed your face with some water, you heard a knock at the door. You weren’t sure if it was because Jungkook was extra worried about you, or because of a delayed sick feeling from his hangover. When you opened the door, however, you realized it was neither.

With your naked ass hanging out from your shirt, you nearly walked right into some hipster boy with thick framed glasses and a grey beanie to cover the roots of his blonde hair. After staring at each other for five seconds, you identified him as your cute model boy from Seokjin’s wedding, Park Jimin. After five more seconds, you put together that he had to be Jungkook’s roommate, though you were annoyed that no one had cared enough to share that detail with you. And finally, after another five seconds, you realized the context in which the two of you were reuniting and promptly covered your chest and ass.

-

“Hey, you had perfect timing… you know, besides catching me half-naked,” you hummed, now fully-clothed and waiting in line at the coffee shop down the block from Jungkook’s and Jimin’s apartment. Upon meeting Jimin in the bathroom, you asked him to help you get away from Jungkook until you were fully back in your professional mindset. Naturally, he decided to take you out for a morning coffee run.

“Why? Did you and Jungkook get into an argument or something?” Jimin asked. Your eyes were still adjusting to seeing him in glasses and casual wear. Not because he looked like a cute little nerd, but because he just looked so different from the day before. And from a photographer’s perspective, it was more than just his appearance that had changed. For some reason, the aura he gave off felt purposely dulled, as if he were hiding part of himself from you.

“Nah, but he basically said he didn’t want to fuck me anymore,” you shrugged. “Sigh, it seems Kookie’s become another victim of love… And here I thought we were on the same page…”

“I didn’t know the two of you were-”

“Believe me when I say it was just sex. Haven’t you ever slept with a co-worker?”

“Umm, no?” Jimin chuckled. “Also, why did you call Jungkook a victim of love?”

“Because he thinks he has a crush on a girl he met a day ago,” you scoffed. “Bullshit, right?”

“I think it’s cute.”

“Of course you do, Mr. Romantic,” you rolled your eyes. The more you got to know Jimin, the more he annoyed you, while at the same time, intrigued you. “But for your information, love is rarely as cute as you’d like it to be.”

“Really?” Jimin challenged you. “Please enlighten me.”

“Love is shitty. Marriage is shitty. The romance novels you read are shitty. Facts are facts, Jimin. Consider yourself enlightened.”

“Well have you ever been in love?”

“Thankfully no. But as a wedding photographer, I’ve seen all the bullshit first-hand.”

“Like what?”

“Like people reciting their totally genuine vows to the supposed love of their life, only to get a divorce a year later.”

“What about all the married couples who’ve made it past their 50th anniversary?”

“What about Kim Kardashian who got married for like half a second before signing divorce papers?”

“Yeah, but she’s happily married now.”

“To Kanye fucking West. Not to mention they have a kid named North West. How happy can the woman actually be?” you were only half-joking. “Just because they aren’t divorced, doesn’t mean they aren’t thinking about it. And that goes for everyone, not just the reality stars who profit from it.”

“Okay, okay, stop roasting them and just get to the point already,” Jimin laughed. He even found your condescending nature charming.

“My point is that after being a witness to more failed marriages than successful ones, I realized love is a lot shittier than how we’d like to imagine it.” You jabbed your finger into Jimin’s heart. “And we can thank romance writers for setting our expectations way too fucking high.”

“You’re welcome.” Jimin nonchalantly took your hand and shook it, and before you could ask him what the fuck that was for, he was already ordering three coffees at the counter. As he was busy engaging with the cashier, you just stood there frowning in confusion.

Even while the two of you waited for your coffees to be made, you refused to say a word to him. The wheels in your brain were spinning…

He always carries around a notebook and called the wedding a romantic place to work in. He apparently spouts out bullshit from romance novels when he’s drunk. He got pretty defensive when you criticized love and romance. He was a fucking romantic if you ever saw one. He said “you’re welcome” when you thanked romance writers for making love unachievable. And then it finally hit you.

“You write fanfic?” you blurted out as you and Jimin exited the shop with your tray of coffees. Your handy detective skills made you feel like Bella exposing Edward as a fucking vampire.

“What? No! I don’t write fanfic!” He seemed offended by your assumption, but you doubted he’d never written fanfiction at some point in his life.

“But you’re a writer?”

“…Yeah,” he whispered.

“Holy fucking shi-”

“Shh! Don’t let the whole fucking world know!” He placed a chubby finger on your lips, and you were lowkey tempted to bite it and see what would happen.

“Why not? Are you secretly Nicholas Sparks or something?” You waited for an answer, but Jimin merely rolled his eyes and pushed you back into his apartment before saying anything more about his job as a writer.

After closing the door and setting the tray of coffees down on the counter, he finally answered your burning question, “I’m not Nicholas Sparks.”

“Oh wow, thank you so much for clearing that one up, Jimin,” you spoke in obvious sarcasm. “So what’s your penname if you aren’t Mr. Sparks?”

Jimin just looked at you for a moment and you blinked back with eyes of curiosity. “That’s classified information, Y/N. I’ve never told anyone my penname. Not even Jungkook.”

“Hmm, interesting… I bet you write kinky shit like Fifty Shades. Or perhaps zombie erotica?” You inspected the boy more closely, searching for any clues to his kinks or deepest desires.

“Either way, you wouldn’t read my work since you’re so against romance novels, right?” The boy crossed his arms. “So why are you so curious?”

“One’s work can say a lot about them as a person: their personalities, their personal experiences, their beliefs, and what inspires them,” you spoke in a softer tone. “I’m curious as to what your writing style says about you. Because for a writer, you, Park Jimin, are pretty hard to read.”

“You’re not so easy to read either, Y/N,” he confessed. “In fact, your attitude in regards to love is wild, yet somewhat justified.”

“And for just $500 a month, I’ll give you as many rants on love as your heart desires,” you joked, but truthfully, hearing Jimin’s words made you feel a certain way.

“Wait. That’s a good idea.” A light bulb suddenly went off in the boy’s brain.

“Glad we’re on the same page, Jims, but my services are in high demand so I’ve raised the price to $1000 a month.”

“Tell me about why you’ve come to despise love. Let me get to know you for my research,” Jimin ignored your monthly service fee bullshit. “That way, I’ll be able to write a romance even you would enjoy.” He wanted you to be his muse.

“Will the story involve kittens? I love kittens a lot more than humans.” You crossed your arms like a difficult young child because you weren’t just going to simply give Jimin what he wanted in order to advance his career.

“Noted!” He literally pulled out his notebook and wrote the word kitten on a blank page. “So you’ll help me?”

“What’s in it for me? Besides the $1000 a month.” You stroked your imaginary thinking beard.

“I’m not paying you $1000 a month,” he giggled. “What else do you want?”

There certainly was something you wanted out of the boy, but it wasn’t a request you could ask of him without crossing some lines.

You stepped much closer to Jimin, nearly closing the gap between your body and his, before your eyes locked with his. “Well, you know, now that Kookie has a crush on someone else, I’ll be kind of lonely at night~” Your hand ran through his hair, knocking his beanie to the floor.

“You want sex…?”

You looked at him with a teeny bit of want and desire as your hand now rested against his flushed red cheek. Seconds later, however, Jimin very delicately peeled your hand away.

“I can’t give you that either…” he said.

Just as with Jungkook earlier that morning, the rejection didn’t necessarily hurt. In fact, it was a pleasant surprise that Jimin had said no. Because it meant that, to some degree, he was beginning to understand you. 

“Not bad, Park Jimin…” You smiled to yourself. “Alright, I’ll be your muse.”

Your sudden shift in moods caught the boy off-guard, although he’d kept that much to himself and instead asked another question, “You really don’t want anything in return, though?”

“Of course I want something in return!” You poked Jimin in the cheek before switching to a softer voice again. “I want you to eventually tell me your penname. That’s all.”

“Even if it’s fifty years from now?” he asked, still unsure of your fascination with his penname.

You nodded, “As long as it takes.” As long as it takes for Jimin to entrust you with his secret.

“Deal.”

[dwarven-beard-spores]

Chicago Hamilton Notes 06/06/16

So I saw Hamilton in Chicago last night, and HOLY SHIT IT WAS GOOD. So my observations and thoughts are below the cut. (There are a LOT)

Disclaimer that these are all subjective, and what i chose to include/exclude is based on what specifically caught my attention/memory and is informed by things I have previously read/seen. 

Feel free to send me an ask if you have any questions! I would LOVE to talk about it :D

ACT 1

The performance was GREAT, everybody was fantastic, and the emotions in this show were so raw, more so than on the cast album. It was intense. 

The set is beautiful, and even without context I would love to just run around on it. Every time it did something new I gasped. Very roughly, it’s a center with a turntable, and a balcony all around the sides and back. We talked about how it felt very Shakespearean. 

The lighting is holy shit, there are so many layers to that and variations and wow I was impressed. I was in the balcony so I could see the lighting patterns really well. 

Same with the choreography, like you could go to a dance recital with just the ensemble cast and be not disappointed at all. It’s so intricate, oh gods. 

The sheer amount of PAPER in the musical is astounding. People are constantly writing letters and documents and flyers and pamphlets, and they are getting passed here and there and thrown and stored places, and idk how anyone keeps track of them all. 

Aaron Burr Sir and My Shot were so great. One thing I didn’t know is that the Rev Set were pretty well established in the bar, they weren’t coming in when they did their initial introductions, they were chilling at a table, and like beatboxing for each other, and having a great time (until Burr spoils it)

Then My Shot happens, and it’s all going well, they form like four points of a circle and it looks really visually cool, until Ham goes “tell me where the ammunition is” and the spotlight just zooms in on him, so the lights and everyone around is just like “OH SHIT.” and it’s really awkward, until Laurens is like “yeah let’s roll with it.” 

They take “sing it to the rooftops” out into the street, and Laurens has a GREAT time rousing the people, getting them to stand on the balconies and hang off the sets, and it’s super exciting. 

Then everybody FREEZES on the turntable in the middle except for Ham, he’s in a front corner in a spot doing his “I imagine death” bit, so it looks very much like an internal monolog/anxiety, rather than something he’s confessing to his bros

And it stays like that until he goes “this is not a moment it’s the movement” and the moment that was frozen in time starts moving, and I cry at puns and layers of meaning

They get wasted in Story of Tonight, and Burr lurks in a corner, until stepping forward into this blazing diagonal of light to start Schuyler Sisters (all chill like, y’know) 

It seems to be the next morning, because the Rev Set is out on the street handing out pamphlets. Laurens gives one to Angelica, and she reads it while Eiza and Peggy argue, and it starts her off on talking about revolution. 

At the beginning, Peggy’s “and Peggy” is SO bratty, you wouldn’t believe, but at the end she is having SUCH a ball. 

Seabury gets up, he’s standing on a box to give his speech, dressed in like scholar robes or smth. Ham is ready to Fight, and Mulligan and Laffayette totally want him to, but Burr holds him back. 

So Laurens comes in, chats with an ensemble member and reads the scene, and then goes and grabs Burr and takes him back to distract him with a book or smth, and while he’s gone Ham goes in for the kill. 

At first he stands next to Seabury, but Seabury moves his box to upstage Ham. It doesn’t work, and eventually Ham is on the box with him, right up in his face. 

Burr notices eventually and is like “What? Oh fml.”

Up until this point everybody’s been all over that stage, there’s been so much bustle and movement. Then two redcoats sweep everybody off with their Message From the King and King George is on stage alone. And he’s TOTALLY STILL. Except for a few contained gestures, and a walk forward, he doesn’t fucking move. (Yet)

But he’s HILARIOUS, in his voice and the mannerisms he does do, everyone was laughing. 

On “everybody” a bunch of nervous ensemble people come to join him in singing, and they are also very still. 

32000 troops was accompanied by lighting that looked like water. 

Gwash is just freakin’ INTENSE man. He is so angry and so determined. He’s got an army of like 6 ensemble members to be his meager forces at the beginning. (But it’s all better once Ham’s three friends come in lol)

And Burr? Burr is so freaking Done With Ham’s Shit. He’s really angry at the beginning of Winter’s Ball. But he pulls it together to flirt. 

It may have been my imagination, but it sure seemed like Laurens was watching the people around him for Flirting Tips bc his gay ass doesn’t know how to be reliable with the ladies. 

For Helpless, these square lanterns descend from the ceiling, and they’re gorgeous and I gasped. There are also tables of candles in the back. 

Eliza is truly fantastic, she’s running around the room. And they made use of the turntable during the scene in the living room, which was really cool. 

There was so much pain in Angelica’s voice during “if you really loved me you would share him.” :’(

Eliza is pretty concerned about Angelica nomming Ham, but he reassures her. 

She gets a veil for the wedding, and they do the procession. Mulligan is the flower girl as per usual, he threw like 3 petals and looked so done with it XD

Then they smooched center stage, for quite a long time, until Laurens interrupted to bring us into Satisfied. 

Angelica sounded so ANGRY during her opening toast. Like “may you always be satisfied” was like “you’d fucking BETTER be satisfied” O.o

They rewound the action, to the kiss, and then in chunks, like, notable tableaus. Went all the way back to “we’re reliable with the ladies” so they were doing that choreography for the “I remember that night” bit. It was further than I expected but worked really well. 

There was this weird bit when she was introducing Ham and Eliza. So Ham and Eliza froze when Angelica did "number one" and "number two," and for at least one of those freezes there were a bunch of ensemble members who were like, posing Hamilton? Like moving his head and his joints while he was frozen? And I'm not entirely sure what it means but it was cool

In The Story Of Tonight Reprise, Laurens was just as draped on Burr as I’d hoped he would be. 

And when Lafayette said “you are the worst, Burr,” it was RIGHT in front of him, DIRECTLY to his face. It was great. 

Ham’s “oh shit” wasn’t just a tiny noise, it was like “oh SHIT.” 

Wait for It was another really really still number. Burr and some ensemble members. It was really really powerful. But when Burr was like “I’m not standing still” it was like “yes you definitely are though.” 

Stay Alive started with a single redcoat shooting at Hamilton and an ensemble member coming in to hold the bullet and show it’s path. 

Idk the battle scenes were so intense, I was right there in the action but I can’t pick out that many things that actually happened. 

Eaker was totally out there, out of control. A very frenzied “Wheeee!” 

The Ten Duel Commandments was mostly done with Laurens and Lee on opposite points of the spinning turntable. Ham and Burr would meet in the middle. 

During the “moment of adrenaline” there was a line of ensemble members between Laurens and Lee, all doing this fluttering motion over their heart that looked really striking. 

They cross the circle at the same time to switch positions, then turn and fire from there. 

Gwash is PISSED. 

He takes Ham to the downstage right. They have most of their argument standing side by side and facing out into the audience. They switch places I think, but don’t really face each other until “CALL ME SON ONE MORE TIME.” 

For That Would Be Enough, the set is mostly this once curved stone bench. 

Eliza is Preggers, and at the beginning she wants Ham to touch her stomach and feel the baby, but he doesn’t until the end, when he reaches for her very tentatively. 

This Eliza’s voice had the most round-sounding “around” ever, I love her voice so much. 

Lafayette was smoking at guns and ships, and the choreography was really fast too. 

He and Gwash talk about Hamilton by Washington’s desk. Washington writes a letter, which Lafayette then passes to an ensemble member, who passes it to another, and they go up around the balcony passing it until it finally gets to Hamilton. This is when Gwash is singing his slow bit, i believe. 

History has its eyes on you was one of a few numbers where there were ensemble members all around the balconies and edges of the scene, just kinda chilling and watching. 

Yorktown was also super intense. Mulligan killed it. 

“We gotta go, gotta get the job done” was with the whole army lined up right near the front of the stage. 

When the world is turned upside down, people come out with upside down chairs and furniture, and they make pedestals for the main players to stand on all dramatically at the end. 

King George comes back, and he is slightly more animated this time as he loses his grip on sanity! He’s also in a front corner as opposed to center stage. Still so many laughs. “I’m so blue” is when he stamps his foot and the lighting goes blue. It’s great. 

The staging for Dear Theodosia is really simple. It’s Burr at the very front of the stage, in a soft spotlight, holding the back of a chair which is facing towards the audience. He stands there and sings, and then sits down. Ham comes out with another chair and does the same thing. 

For the most part, I was fully in the moment while watching the musical. But I couldn’t help but think at this point of the comic where Hamilton goes “LOOK AT MY SON” and hurls a baby in Burr’s face. Oops. 

They are interrupted by Eliza (which is kinda cool, considering she’s the one who’s been really invested in kids) with a letter. This is the Laurens Interlude and it is very sad. She reads Hamilton the letter while Laurens stands next to him in a bluer spot and goes through The Story Of Tonight. 

At the end Eliza asks “are you alright?” and Ham answers by saying “I’ve got so much work to do.” 

By this time he’s in his green silk suit (I believe he changes right before Dear Theo). 

The Levi Weeks trial is on the turntable, so even when the players are stationary they’re still moving. Ham does sit down when Burr tells him to, but gets up like two seconds after. 

Angelica and Ham walk diagonally across the stage while she tells him that she’s going to London. He is a bit put out to find out she’s going with a husband, but does agree that no one can match him, and seems pleased with Angelica’s saying it.

Then the turntable takes her away, and brings Eliza forward at the same time. 

Everyone clears out for Ham and Burr’s midnight conversation. Burr’s “no” was like “noooooo” and I laughed. 

They pull out a chunk of the balcony!!! And it’s a set of stairs with a platform at the top, and they roll it to the center of the stage, so there’s stairs going up from the center onto the balcony! I gasped then too. 

Annnnd, INTERMISSION.

ACT 2

It opens with Burr on the top of the stairs (I think. Or else he climbs there promptly while giving his introduction.) He’s at the top when he calls out “Thomas? THOMAS!” and TJeffs comes out from the top of the stairs as well. 

His stage presence is so great, he is having a BALL. When he gives the audience a kiss it’s with his face out, he’s not blowing one. He just leans into it like “mwah!” 

And he gets wheeled around on the staircase, which goes back into the balcony afterwards. 

Madison shows up and is like “shit’s going down!” and Jefferson’s like “sure, but I’m the shit.” 

And when Gwash and Hamilton show up, Hamilton zooms forward and cuts Gwash off to shake Jefferson’s hand first and introduce himself. 

Then they cabinet battle! Someone comes with a case that has microphones in it, and the stage gets set up so there’s an upside down V with Gwash at the point and Tjeffs and Ham on this inside. 

Jefferson finishes his things and then drops the microphone like it’s hot. Madison makes a show of picking it up with his hankercheif. 

Ham’s body language while mocking Tjeffs is fantastic. He doesn’t do the same little hop Lin did during “Montechello,” but he did some disparaging wiggle that was really funny. 

Gwash has to physically separate the two and tell Ham to chill out. 

Take a break! Phillip is adorable, and it’s very clear that Eliza’s teaching him to play, and they’re really cute. 

Eliza has to physically take the pen out of Ham’s hand before he’ll come to dinner. 

Phillip is so nervous! And Eliza’s beatboxing for him, and gesturing to him like “you got this, come on,” and then he hits his stride and it’s so exciting. 

Hamilton’s teeny “hi” remains one of the best things ever. And Angelica is barely there three seconds before getting dragged into their problems. 

Say No To This has streetlights set up, and the outer ring of the turntable is going while Maria walks along it. She’s in Seductive Red (tm) and is circling the stationary desk where Ham is being angsty and tired. 

The ensemble members going “No! NO!” are SO DONE WITH HAM’S SHIT. On every “no” they change poses, and every pose is one of despair/exasperation/just general Done-ness. 

James Renolyds is a dirtbag, and calls Maria away with a slap to his leg. She and Ham share a longing glance before she goes. 

The Room Where It Happens was amazing. When Burr is setting the scene, Ham, Tjeffs, and Madison are standing in a line, facing away from the audience. They set up a table with Tjeffs and Madison seated and still facing away. Ham pours everyone drinks. That’s what the meal itself looks like. 

During “Thomas says” narration, Hamilton sure does simper for his help. It’s cool bc it’s maybe subjective based on the narrator, whoo!

Based on that post connecting Say No and The Room that had to deal with Ham borrowing strategy from Maria rather than Burr, it was interesting to have her red dress compared to Tjeff’s maroon suit… the warm colors contrasting against Ham’s green were a little similar. 

Burr gets on the table to emphasize his point, and at one point he jumps and someone pulls the tablecloth out from under him. The table is mirrored! I haven’t explicated the meaning behind that either, but it was really cool and unexpected. 

Everyone’s favorite, Schuyler defeated, was pretty chill. Eliza and Phillip were up on the balcony, Ham and Burr were center stage. Ham was pissed. 

They set up the second cabinet battle the same way as the first, and it follows the same format. Gwash dramatically flips his coattails every time he sits down. (He’s in black, btw)

Ham does a very nice imitation of King Louis’s head. 

Washington On Your Side was amazing. It started with just Tjeffs on stage complaining, and then Burr shows up and is like “I wanna complain about Hamilton too.” Madison doesn’t come on until it’s to remind everyone that he wrote the bill of rights. 

They’re so sinister. And the way the number builds in intensity is just right. 

During the song Tjeffs writes a letter, which makes it to Gwash’s desk for the beginning of One Last Time. When Hamilton comes in he is given the letter and reads it, and isn’t really paying that much attention to Washington until he announces he’s resigning. 

They’re BOTH in black now, btw. 

For the speech it works like this: Hamilton goes front and center and starts writing/reciting the speech. Gwash is in the back, right next to him but a stage behind. Then Ham starts walking backwards as George walks forward, until they’re next to each other in the middle. They pause, then George walks the rest of the way forward and Ham walks the rest of the way backward. As they do this, their voices match how far forward on stage they are, until George is carrying it by himself. 

At this point, people are watching: Ham and Eliza and Phillip are there, clinging on to each other, Madison and Jefferson are there, groups of ensemble members. 

George Washington’s stately walk away is matched by King George back. he’s completely lost it, and his gestures are so much wilder. 

“looms quite as large” reeeeaaaaallly sounded like a dick joke when he said it. 

Also his estimation of Adam’s height was like four feet tall maybe, and he lowered it upon further consideration. 

Then he decided to stay and hang out! He pulled up a chair on the side of the stage and sat there to watch shit go down!

Hamilton’s retaliation to John Adams was a giant bundle of papers, which he dropped from the center of the balcony. When it landed the lights and sound followed like an explosion. 

He goes to work at his desk, and is visited by Jefferson, Madison, and Burr, all in a line. They wave receipts in his face, and he grabs the letter from James Reynolds out of a drawer off to the side. Madison reads it while Jefferson hangs out near Hamilton to bother him, until “that was my wife who you decided to-“ when he dashes over there to read the letter for his own eyes. 

Desperation is rolling off Hamilton like waves in this scene. He is just barely hanging on as it is, and he does not need this bullshit. 

Burr’s cryptic answers are still cryptic… but in this performance they also sounded threatening. 

Hurricane starts with hurricane lighting swirling all around Hamilton, he’s in the eye. 

For most of the time he’s not alone onstage. He’s got ensemble members acting out the storm, and the scenes he’s talking about, and generally adding to the chaos. 

There’s a brilliant moment, and I can’t remember the exact line right now, where the entire stage is lit neon green and purple. Like cartoon radioactivity. It’s only for a few seconds and never anywhere else in the musical. I got chills. 

The Reynolds Pamphlet is CHAOS. Papers are going everywhere. Phillip gets shown the grisly details. Hamilton just stands in the center. 

It clears away when Angelica arrives, then it’s her and Hamilton. 

Then it comes back, and papers get thrown in the air and everywhere. Jefferson placed a sheet on Hamilton’s shoulder, which stuck. King George got into the action, he was having a ball. 

HIS POOR WIFE. 

Burn was just absolutely wrenching. The set? Was so simple and painful. A coal bin. A lantern just like the ones that had come down during Helpless. The stone bench from That Would Be Enough. Even thinking about it I’m tearing up. Eliza read the letters there, looking for her sign. She burned them in the lantern and tossed them in the coal bin. Wow it hurt. 

Pain and resolve is what came off her in waves. Her VOICE. 

And then Phillip shows up, all scholarly and ready to have threesomes.

The play is actually there; there are two actors in a harsh white square of light (stage) acting out some scene when Phillip comes in to get Eaker. They stop what they’re doing and watch the confrontation! Who’s on stage? It’s in flux! Then they’re like “screw this” and leave. 

Phillip and Eaker are on opposite points of the turntable too. Phillip is center stage when he gets shot. He falls back in slow motion, and is caught by an ensemble member who lowers him onto a table. The table keeps spinning around slowly as Hamilton comes in to look for him. 

*cries forever*

Eliza screams “NO!” after he dies. It hurt. 

At one point, Hamilton reached for her hand, and she wouldn’t let him touch her. 

Uptown was lit in a purple stone pattern, at least for some of it. Eliza and Hamilton weren’t alone, there were passersby all over the place. 

Angelica says “she takes his hand” before Eliza actually does, which surprised me. It was almost like Eliza was listening to Angelica and then responding. 

Can we get back to politics? Please? 

Hamilton trying to mourn, in black, just sort of wandering through the enthusiastic crowd asking about his opinion was really striking. 

Okay so the best part of The Election of 1800 for me was this realization. Something about the way Burr and Hamilton played the scene made me think of it in a whole new way… When Burr says “I learned that from you” it’s the absolute WORST thing he could have said. Because Hamilton is still dealing with the fact that his advice is what killed Phillip. He is realizing that his entire worldview may be flawed. And NOW Burr wants to take his advice? That can only end in disaster. 

So his decision to support Jefferson is not just because of Burr’s politics (though they are pretty awful) but is also because he’s trying to save Burr from following his advice. (In the least tactful way possible). 

MY HEART. (I need to write fic about this). 

Also, Jefferson is just really disgusted with the way Burr’s like “I can’t wait to work with you!” Like, dang. Not only did you miss out on the presidency, but your “wait for it” strategy got you kicked out of being VP. No wonder Burr is pissed. 

Speaking of pissed, he is SO out for blood in Your Obedient Servant. 

The lights turn red and put him and four ensemble members in white diamonds of light that reminded me of playing cards. 

He sits down at a desk and writes out a letter, which is then delivered to Hamilton.

Hamilton then sits down and starts writing his massive response, and it get delivered page by page by a different ensemble member each time. 

When he’s writing his 30 years of disagreements, he just kind of scribbles across the page, and it made me laugh. 

At the end, they both sign letters at the same time, and they get delivered in the order A. Ham (to Burr) and A. Burr (to Ham). 

Best of Wives was short and sweet. Hamilton kissed Eliza’s arm. 

This was set up much like the rest of the duels, with people going everywhere but the focus being the turntable.

During Burr’s “confession time” two ensemble members came up behind him and did the heart fluttery motion that meant “adrenaline” in Ten Duel Commandments, and it was a cool callback and also meant something different so I really liked it. 

When Burr shot, someone came up to hold the bullet, just like in Stay Alive. The table stopped turning, but Hamilton moved a bit. 

Laurens/Phillip, Hamilton’s mom, and George Washington all showed up on the balcony, but when Eliza showed up, she went right between Burr and Hamilton, so it looked as though she might be getting shot, or Ham would shoot her if he decided to fire.

Hamilton crumples into this tiny black ball when he’s shot, and he starts turning with the turntable. Two ensemble members sit next to him and act out rowing him back across the hudson. 

He ends up climbing the stairs to get to the balcony where his dead loved ones were, while Burr ends up center stage. 

Then WLWDWTYS happens and it’s so sad. Eliza comes into the spotlight, and the strength of her greif is overwhelming, especially in, like, “he gives me what you always wanted, he gives me more time.”

She ends it crying.

END

[crw1025]

An Adaption of a Classic

In 2005, Rent became not only a stage production, but a film production. Director Chris Columbus started the movie with all of the main characters on a theatre stage singing the shows iconic song “Seasons of Love” to an empty auditorium. This really helped to set up what the audience was about to watch and give an almost celebratory feel that is constantly present in the rest of the film, whether it be celebrating someone’s life, or celebrating an engagement.

The film takes off with clip of the streets of New York where we see homeless people either sitting or wandering around as we hear Mark’s famous opening lines, “December 24, 1989, 9 p.m., Eastern Standard Time. From here on in, I shoot without a script. See if anything comes of it, instead of my old shit.” The camera turn to Mark, filming with his camera as the title song, “Rent”, begins playing. As Mark begins to sing about the struggles of documenting real life, he is riding his bike back to what fans of the show can assume is the loft he shares with Roger. Scene cuts to Roger as we see him in their loft with a guitar in his hands singing about the struggles of writing a song after a while; during which the power blows. Mark gets home and shows Roger, who is messing with the fuse box the eviction notice. A now looming question is upon them.

“How we gonna pay?

How we gonna pay?

How we gonna pay last year's rent?”

With the power back on, they get a phone call from Collins, a friend of theirs and asks them to throw down the keys. But before he could reach the door of their loft, he was jumped and his jacket stolen. With no heat in the loft, Mark and Roger have no choice but to “light up a mean blaze with posters and screen plays.” Cut back to Collins who is in pain from his incident, unable to get up. Shot back to Mark and Roger on their balcony as the camera pans down to show the rest of the residence on Avenue A burning their eviction notices.

”How we gonna pay?

How we gonna pay?

How we gonna pay last year's Rent?”

Mark and Roger continue to burntheir momentos in a metal trash can order to stay warm.

“Zoom in as they burn the past to the ground

And feel the heat of the future’s glow.

How do you leave the past behind

When it keeps finding ways to get to get to your heart?

It reaches way down deep and tears you inside out 

Until you’re torn apart.”

As they continue their song they take their burning past and throw it over their balcony along with everyone’s eviction notices. Benny, who at this point appears to be a landlord, comes by to a mound of people in chaos, anger, and ammusement. But as he exits his car, everyone has one thing to say to Benny.

“We’re not gonna pay.

We’re not gonna pay.

We’re not gonna pay

Last year’s rent

This year’s rent

Next year’s rent

Rent, Rent, Rent, Rent, Rent

We’re not gonna pay rent

‘Cause everything is rent.”

Benny asks Mark and Roger to come down and talk to him. As they begin to walk down stairs though, we see Roger make eye contact with a girl who lives below then. It doesn’t look like they know each other. We can tell that there is some sort of tension between the three characters and we can deduce from their conversation that Mark and Roger have kind of shunned Benny from the group because he married the daughter of the owner of their lot. We also learn that his father-in-law was upset a protest being held by a girl named Maureen Johnson, who we find out dumped Mark for a lawyer named Joanne and is protesting because Benny is turning her performance space into a digital cybernetic interactive studio. Benny wants Mark and Roger to convince Maureen to cancel her protest in exchange for continuing to forego their rent.

Cut to a man with drum sticks and a plastic tub performing on the street. He hears a noise and goes to figure out where it is coming from. He finds Collins who is hurt and bloody. The man offers his help to Collins and introduces himself as Angel. He then walks with Collins to get cleaned up and we learn that Angel is a part of a life support group for people with AIDS (which he has). We also learn that Collins as AIDS as well.

In this brief scene, you can see that these two character immediately have a connection and that they could be possible love interests.

Cutting back to the loft, Mark decides to go find Collins and asks Roger if he wants to go with him and that maybe they could grab dinner while they were out. Roger tell Mark to zoom in on his empty wallet. Mark doesn’t pry any further. He just reminds Roger to take his AZT before heading out the door. Roger goes up to the rooftop of their complex and starts reminiscing about the life he used to have as he sings “One Song Glory.” We see flashbacks of him with his then girlfriend April. We see that they were both drug addicts and that April and him tested positive for HIV. But as he sings, we hear his plea.

“One song, glory

One song before I go

Glory, one song to leave behind.”

He goes back to the loft and the girl who had met Roger’s eye came in asking him, “Would you light my candle?” Roger knows that she wants more than just him to light her candle so she could see and continues to try and keep her at bay. We learn that she is a junkie and that Roger had gotten through his drug addiction. Roger tries to hide her stash as she looks for it all over the loft, but she ultimately finds it and leaves, but not before telling him that her name is Mimi.

The next day, Mark finds out about Mimi, but Roger refuses to go any further with her. Collin’s shows up and brings the boys a bunch of snacks and booze and introduces them to Angel, who we discover is transgender.

Maureen ends up calling Mark, asking him to help Joanne fix her sound equipment. Mark goes down to the studio while Angel and Collins head to a life support meeting and Roger just stays at home.

Cut to Mark walking in and meeting Joanne for the first time. The camera follows them as Joanne reluctantly allows Mark to help her with the sound system. Pretty soon, they start comparing their relationships with Maureen in “Tango: Maureen”.

“Mark: Has she ever pouted her lips

And called you ‘Pookie’?

Joanne: Never

Mark: Have you ever doubted a kiss or too?

Joanne: This is...spooky”

Mark fixes the sound system and joins Angel and Collins at life support and ends up filming a bit for his film. You see people talking about their fears and looking desperately for a solution.

Cut to Mimi dancing at her job and soon after, walking the streets to her loft. This is during the song “Out Tonight”. She eventually goes up to Roger’s place and is begging him to take her out. Roger pulls away and begins singing, “Another Day” where he is trying to get Mimi away from him. You can tell that he has enough baggage of his own and he is afraid of taking on someone elses. Mimi is trying to reach him.

“There is no future

There is no past

I live this moment as my last.

There’s only us

There’s only this

Forget regret

Or life is yours to miss

No other road

No other way

No day but today.”

But even with her persuading, Roger doesn’t give in and ends up hurting her feeling. Even through all of this, you can tell that Roger is into her. After this, Roger ends up going to a life support meeting with Collins, Angel, and Mark.

After the meeting, Roger and Mark go to help Maureen with final sound checks. Collins and Angel are alone together and end up declaring their love for each other in the song “I’ll Cover You.” Angel even buys Collins his iconic jacket which he wears for the rest of the film.

Cut to Roger finding Mimi just outside of Maureen’s show. He apologizes to her for being out of line and asks her if she wants to go have dinner with them after the show. She agrees and the whole gang goes to see Maureen perform her protest piece “Over the Moon” which ends with the cops stepping in.

Scene moves to Life Cafe. The group waits for Mark inside, unsure of where he is. He makes his way into the cafe and tells Maureen that he sold his footage of the protest to a news station. The group finds a place to sit at the cafe and they see Benny. Benny starts to patronize them for the way they live their lives as he begins the song “La Vie Boheme”.

“Bohemia, Bohemia’s

A fallacy in your head

This is Calcutta

Bohemia is dead.”

The whole group decides to celebrate the Bohemian Life and begin to mock Benny in front of his investors.

During this, Roger and Mimi have a heart to heart and begin to open up and accept their feelings for one another. We learn that Mimi is also HIV positive. They decide to be together and rejoin their friends for one last round of “La Vie Boheme” and celebrate “...people living with, living, with, living with, not dying from disease!”

The next year of their lives, no one expected. Mark and Roger became squatters in their own loft thanks to Benny. This forces Mark to get a job he hates in order to have money to pay for rent. Joanne and Maureen are having many quarrels, and in the middle of their wedding shower, have and explosive argument and break up. Benny decides to give back the loft to Mark and Roger, free of rent, after talking with Mimi about it, but Mark gives him a check to pay for it. Roger starts to get jealous of Benny and starts becoming distant. Mimi stops taking drugs in order to be with Roger and Angel’s health worsens. Roger ends up catching Mimi buying drugs from a dealer and breaks up with her. She ends up going back to Benny, even though he is married. Angel eventually passes away in Collins’s arms.

The funeral is held on Halloween. Everyone speaks at Angel’s funeral and Collins reprises their love song “I’ll Cover You”. After the service, Mimi and Roger, as well as Joanne and Maureen get in an argument about Roger and Maureen being too afraid to love them. Collins has to stop them in order for them to realize what they are doing.

Maureen and Joanne seem to make up, but Roger pushes away from Mimi and heads off to Santa Fe.

Mark and Roger are being haunted by past ghosts in “What You Own”. Roger sees Mimi everywhere he goes and Mark is alway hearing Angel. Neither of them are happy with their current lives and end up doing the scary thing, following their hearts. Mark quits his job to focus on his own film and Roger moves back to New York after finding his song.

Benny calls Mark and tells them that Mimi is missing. The whole group, especially Roger, are trying to find her but to no avail.

“December 24, 1990, 10 pm Eastern Standard Time.” Collins comes to visit the boys again and ask them if they have any news of Mimi, which they didn’t. Soon after they pour themselves a drink, Maureen shouts for Mark to help them with Mimi. Joanne and Maureen had found her living in the street. Roger and Mimi share a tender moment and Roger plays his song for her before she goes. After telling her the he loves her, she passes away. But soon after, she comes back to life and tells them that Angel told her to go back and be with Roger. The movie ends with them all watching Mark’s film and reminding themselves of one very important lesson.

This lesson doesn’t just apply to them, it applies to all of us. We all need to realize that we have no clue that the future holds and we need to just go for it. There is no day but today.

Rosenthal, Jane (Producer), & Chris Columbus (Director). (2005). Rent [Motion Picture]. United States: Columbia Pictures.